


My Sanctuary Beholden to Me

by seonweonsonyeondan



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Priests, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn with Feelings, Religious Content, Religious Guilt, but like really minor, why are there feelings in my porn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-20
Updated: 2018-01-20
Packaged: 2019-03-07 09:47:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13432128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seonweonsonyeondan/pseuds/seonweonsonyeondan
Summary: Kihyun drops to his knees with a groan, hands reverently tugging at the black slacks that cover the thick thighs he so desperately needs to get to. Kihyun’s tongue needs to taste the skin beneath, needs to have the bitter taste of satisfaction fill him up like communion.





	My Sanctuary Beholden to Me

**Author's Note:**

> title and inspo taken from Church by Fall Out Boy bc the inner emo kid never dies.

Kihyun drops to his knees with a groan, hands reverently tugging at the black slacks that cover the thick thighs he so desperately needs to get to. Kihyun’s tongue needs to taste the skin beneath, needs to have the bitter taste of satisfaction fill him up like communion.

A strong grip pulls him away by his hair and forces Kihyun to look up at the man. Kihyun whines, hands still on the hips that he knows will be fucking into him soon. Soft eyes gaze down at him, setting a sharp contract with the sting in his scalp. Kihyun eyes the delicate lips, slick with spit and red from kissing. His gaze slips to the clerical collar already askew.

“My boy, so impatient.” Hoseok stares down his nose at the man on his knees in front of him. Kihyun shudders from the kind, condescending tone. “We’re already committing so many sins, don’t you want to at least be a little virtuous?”

“What’s the point if we’re going to Hell anyway, Father?” Kihyun tries to get back to business, hands moving to the other priest’s belt. Hoseok kicks his hands away. “Hoseok,  _ please.  _ We don’t have  _ time _ for this--”

“It’s not my  _ fault _ you didn’t finish your sermon.” Hoseok jerks Kihyun’s head back, exposing his neck. Kihyun wonders what he looks like. Is his collar even still on? He knows Hoseok unbuttoned his shirt, hands heavy on his skin. Kihyun likes to think they’re imprinted there. “Pay attention,  _ Father Kihyun. _ Shouldn’t you enjoy this?” 

Kihyun keens and runs his hands up and down Hoseok’s still covered thighs. Two can play this game. “You are the reason I didn’t finish my sermon, Father Hoseok. If I remember properly, you kept interrupting me before doing squats in my office.”

Kihyun looks up through his lashes. He pokes his tongue out a bit, running it along his lower lip. Hoseok’s eyebrow ticks up at the motion and Kihyun hopes the older priest’s about to break. Instead of being forced into the bulge that’s not becoming prominent, Kihyun is thrown to the ground. Hoseok takes a couple steps back, his scrutiny forcing Kihyun to lie where he landed. Hoseok removes his belt, tossing it towards Kihyun. He undoes the button of his slacks, hand slipping quickly inside.

Kihyun sucks in a sharp breath when he realizes what Hoseok is missing. “Your--you’re not wearing any--”

“No, what’s the point when you’re just so greedy?” Hoseok settles into the ratty office chair behind him. His hand lazily strokes himself as he peers at the sprawled Kihyun. “Well? Are you going to get ready for me or shall I give you a show instead?”

Kihyun scrambles back to his knees and pulls off his shirt, leaving him only in his undershirt. He enjoys how Hoseok watches his every move. They shouldn’t be doing this but they’re far beyond guilt now. They made their decisions and never looked back.

Kihyun noses along the inner seam of Hoseok’s slacks, mouth watering at the thought of taking Hoseok’s cock into his mouth like communion. The  _ sacrilege _ of that thought along causes his own hard cock to twitch in its confines. It’s painful to keep it there, but Kihyun likes that. He likes that it reminds him of the taint on his soul. 

Sometimes when Kihyun is alone in his plain room he fantasizes of what it would’ve been like if they had met some other way. If he and Hoseok had escaped the prison of their upbringings and met somewhere else. Instead of being thrown together in this small parish, forced to fail at hiding their desire for something considered so sinful.

Sometimes he fantasizes about what it’d be like for them to do other things than just watching and occasionally touching. What it’d be like to push Hoseok down onto a bed and open him up so Kihyun could bury himself deep inside. Would Hoseok arch into him the way he does whenever Kihyun is bold enough touch Hoseok the way he touches Kihyun? Would he cry out? How would Hoseok look so stripped and vulnerable?

What it be like for the opposite to happen? Hoseok can be so in control, especially of Kihyun. Did the other man realize it? What would it feel like to have Hoseok take care of Kihyun, hold him down, bury that thick dick inside him?

Would Kihyun be able to continue to deny what he already knows?

This weird little power play is all they can hope for.

Kihyun shoves his face into the fabric, breathing deep as he finally lets himself touch his cock. He almost cries out in relief when he feels himself in his palm. He imagines it’s Hoseok as he looks back up to find Hoseok watching him with an almost worshipful expression on his face. Hoseok’s hand barely moves as he watches Kihyun on his knees. 

“I don’t think,” Kihyun struggles to say, “I’ve ever you look so respectful of something.”

“It’s hard to not be in awe of you, Kihyunnie.” Hoseok’s voice cracks over Kihyun’s name, face so open and easy to read now. His hand abandons his own cock in favor of gently cupping Kihyun’s jaw and leading him up until Kihyun hovers over Hoseok’s face. “Kiss me.”

Kihyun doesn’t hesitate. He leans down and kisses Hoseok with all the emotion he doesn’t ever want to face. Hoseok groans and pulls Kihyun down into his lap. They’re both too big for this chair and it creaks in displeasure. They ignore it in favor of mapping each other out. Hoseok tugs Kihyun’s undershirt off and then Kihyun finally gets Hoseok’s own black shirt off.

Kihyun hits his shin against the arm and whines. Hoseok shushes him by kissing him and taking both their cocks into his spit covered hand. It doesn’t do much to smooth the slide, but Kihyun doesn’t mind. He doesn’t mind anything when Hoseok is touching him.

“Hoseok,” breathes out Kihyun. They don’t let themselves get this physical usually. But Hoseok is rocking up into Kihyun and whining high in his throat as he kisses Kihyun sloppily. Kihyun’s never been drunk, sheltered as he was, but he’s certain this must be what it feels like.  _ “Hoseok--” _

Hoseok kisses down Kihyun’s neck. He licks at the skin like it’s the most delicious thing he’s ever tasted. Kihyun keens and almost cums then. Hoseok nibbles softly, clearly no longer thinking. His hand moves over their cocks quickly, still rocking against Kihyun. Kihyun clutches to Hoseok and just lets the sensations wash over him. He doesn’t know what to do other than just that. He thinks he’s probably chanting Hoseok’s name over and over. 

Hoseok is repeating something also, but it’s muttered into Kihyun’s skin and he can’t quite make it out. But it makes Kihyun shiver, so he thinks it must be important, significant. He wants to move Hoseok’s face to his so he can both hear and see Hoseok’s face.

But before Kihyun can really attempt anything he doubles over, the coil in his gut about to snap. “Hoseok--I’m--”

“I know. I got you.” Hoseok kisses Kihyun’s temple as his hand starts moving faster. His hips jerk a little beneath Kihyun, jostling him. Hoseok noses Kihyun’s face up and kisses him deep, tongue licking along his upper lip. Kihyun shudders and cums into Hoseok’s hand. Hoseok keeps pumping until he follows Kihyun a few seconds later.

For a moment they allow themselves to bask in the afterglow. For a moment Kihyun pretends that what they just did doesn’t completely break their vows or go against everything they’re supposed to be teaching.

God, why couldn’t they have met some other way?

Kihyun stumbles up and grabs the tissues, not looking at Hoseok. His clerical collar lies on the floor, beneath the statue of Our Lady of Guadalupe. He wipes himself down before handing the box to Hoseok. 

Kihyun crouches down to pick up his collar, eyes squeezed shut. He can’t. Him and Hoseok are something, but first. Their Calling. They both had the Call. That’s their priority. Kihyun feels a hand on his shoulder. He knows who it is. There’s no one else it could be, of course.

“Are you thinking about the Call again?” Hoseok’s voice is back to the soft nasal tones Kihyun is used to. He can feel Hoseok’s body heat when he crouches down as well. Kihyun nods. “Did you ever think we both the Call because maybe God wanted to lead us to each other?”

“What a cruel joke,” whispers Kihyun. Hoseok pulls him into his arms. Kihyun doesn’t know when he started crying. Hoseok gently sits down and cradles Kihyun in his arms. “And have us hate ourselves until we can finally fully accept ourselves? That’s too cruel.”

“Yeah, it’s shit.” Kihyun jerks back to raise an eyebrow at Hoseok. “Kihyunnie, I just touched your dick. And kissed you. I have a feeling swearing is the least of our worries.”

Kihyun chuckles and wraps his arms around Hoseok. They stay that for a while.

“We can leave,” Hoseok murmurs. Kihyun hums, not really pay attention. “I’m serious. We can leave.”

“But. This is what we  _ do _ .”

“Yes. But, Kihyun. I want so much more with you. We could leave and finally be together without the shame.”

“Hoseok.”

“I know. I know we’d lose everything. But Kihyun. Aren’t we worth it?”

Kihyun pulls back to look at Hoseok. He can see the sincerity in his eyes. Kihyun smiles and kisses him. “I didn’t realized you cared so much, Hoseok. Willing to give up our oh so comfortable life to potentially rough it. That’s quite the romantic gesture.”

Kihyun hopes his teasing masks how badly he wants that. How fast his heart is beating because thinking about having a future with Hoseok is something he wants so desperately. A future where they don’t have to hide. Where maybe Kihyun can finally unlearn all the hatred he feels whenever he looks in the mirror. Where Kihyun wakes up to Hoseok’s smiling face for the rest of his life.

“Maybe God will finally give us a way out, even if it’s through a tiny window.” Hoseok smiles brilliantly and kisses Kihyun again. “We can talk more about it. But I want this, Kihyun.”

**Author's Note:**

> sorry mom.


End file.
